You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
