Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Randomize
