My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
