Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
