If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Randomize
