so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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