I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
