So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
