You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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