You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
