Three words: puerto rican gang bang
if only i could text you this smell
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize