he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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