Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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