what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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