i barfeds in our rink
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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