he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
