So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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