where am i from again
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize