the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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