"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
