I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
