are you so shy because you have an std?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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