there was a trapeze. enough said
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
