Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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