i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just blew my weed a kiss
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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