dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize