I just saw a hot homeless man
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
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then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
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We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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