I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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