I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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