I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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