Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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