drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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