I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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