I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
