her vagina looked like bernie madoff
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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