my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
