If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
