All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
