So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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