Im at strip club and am horny
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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