The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
