why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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