Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
