No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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