I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
