im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
