Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
