I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Im part way to drunk.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
