Sponge bath it is.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
