The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
