You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
