Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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