My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
