Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize