did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
