dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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