She's JV to your varsity
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I need to sanitize my soul.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
