You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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